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Tuesday, March 14th 2006

5:05 PM

Pat goes to the Arnold Classic part two

After befouling the toilet at the Expo Center we learned that the building we needed to be in for the martial arts competitions were in the Nationwide Arena which was about a block away.  Thankfull that my sphincter was no longer dialated we headed over and found the gym crew.

Demott needed to weigh in so we headed to get him registered.  He found out he needed to weigh in and wanted to do so in as little clothing as possible.  Demott is a firm believer of going commando and didn't want to weigh totally nude nor did he want to trek back to the car.  I was wearing some underarmor shorts under my warmups so I offered him the use of them to weigh in with.  What I didn't bother to tell him was that I had been wearing them for three days to work out in.  He said he noticed a foul oodor when he was wearing them but being the trooper he is he weighed in in them anyway.  I can't imagine what was going on in the minds of the people in charge when Demott weighed in with three days worth my my festering odors coming off of him.  He thanked me for the use of my nasty shorts and returned them to me.

He and Thom then headed over to the Expo to get all the free stuff that was being offered.  At the expo there was one of those tests of stregnth that involved ringing a bell with a hammer, not unlike a any carnival.  Demott decided to try his luck and swung the hammer.  This resulted n him splitting the seat of his pants.  Now remember earlier when I mentioned that he likes to go commando?  Well the entire expo had the chance to see his rusty sherriff's badge, I'm pretty sure he even shook his ass at the crowd.  One horrified vendor gave him a shirt to cover his offending orifice up with.  He and Thom had to walk all the way back to the vehicle so he could change pants.

The fights started amazingly late.  Apparently the Gracie's decided to enjoy the Columbus night life a bit much that evening.  John fought relatively early, yet still some six or more hours late.  Curtis, Ed, and Verlin, all fought around midnight.  Curtis was nice enough to drive us back to the car so we wouldn't freeze in the cold Columbus winter.

On our way to the motel i reached down to scratch, apparently the funk from my under armor was stuck to me and the stench sent Thom into the dry heaves.  It didn't kill her appetite to terribly bad because we at soem of the finest crap the the Steak and Shake in Columbus had to offer.

Chirs and Curtis fought again the next day and we had fun at the expo afterwards.  We discovered soemthing fabulous when we gassed up for the trip home.  Ohio sells liquor in gas stations.  Chris bought us a $3.99 750 ml of vodka in what was called a convinient travel size.  The swill was awful.  It literally tasted like a doctor's office smells.  Needless to say the trip home was less than pleasant for poor Thom who had todrive.  I had the sulpher burps goin on and we played freeze out most of the way home so the poor girl wouldn't puke.

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